Media Misnomers

As someone who calls for such radical policies as the dissolution of that useless behemoth known as the federal Department of Education, as well as legally restoring safety to the most dangerous place in the USA (the mother's womb), the media and culture would call me conservative, not radical. OK, I can live with that. But why are governments like those of Hitler, Mussolini, and Iranian President Ahmadinejad also called either conservative or right-wing? High taxes; severe limits to freedoms of speech, assembly, and the press; gun control; government intrusion into every part of life; nationalization of industries...hardly Reaganesque. Additionally, Hitler and Mussolini were pro-union. And Hitler was pro-abortion. Why are they linked with me as right-wing?

I also object to the symbolic choice of the media to label conservative Republicans "red" and liberal Democrats "blue." In the Revolutionary War, the red-coated British represented much of what liberalism stands for today, and the boys in blue paved the way for those very right-wing documents known as the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. And Red China is at the left end of the spectrum.

Media misnomers are not limited to politics. Cursing or profanity are referred to as mature language. I've heard children use those words. Are those children more mature than their peers? Quite the opposite is true. It is immature language, because the users:
--don't care if they bother people
--don't have the vocabulary to express themselves properly, and
--don't even use profane words according to what their definitions are.

Stupid Ingenuity

The oxymoronic title of this post refers to the invention of the alarm clock snooze button, which ranks right up there in its benefit to mankind with submarine screen doors. Friend, if you can afford to sleep a few minutes more, why didn't you set the alarm to sound later? If you can't, you'll either be late, or you'll drive dangerously, or some other unfortunate time-constraint consequence of your snooze addiction will befall you. Additionally, the family members you disturb unnecessarily will likely consider you lazy, irrational, and/or irresponsible.

The Goracle's Big Concert

--Al Gore, not content to rest on his laurels after having invented the internet, has reinvented himself. His past persona was one of constant self-aggrandizing lies streaming out of his piehole. Now he specializes in hypocrisy.
--Or should I say hip-hop-crisy? Remember Tipper, Gore's wife, and her campaign to clean up popular music via the Parents' Music Resource Center? Today, Big Al is parading a plethora of perverted pop stars in his Universal Concerts To Save Life As We Know It. Even Akon, the ex-con Lord of Lewd Lechers, leaped around Gore's stage. Yes, Akon, the misogynist polygamist rapper who once horribly molested a fifteen-year-old on another stage, in Trinidad. I wonder if he exchanged post-performance hugs with Al and Tipper.
--In Great Britain, the BBC interrupted the concert repeatedly to officially apologize for the filthy language.
--The Times of London estimates that the end result of the many Gore-inspired concerts will be a carbon footprint of 31,500 tons! Stars and their entourages flying, fans driving, lights, amps, and tons of litter, all over the globe! That's OK, because in Reverend Gore's Church of the Convenient Crisis (wherein disciple-scientists earn big government contracts by convincing us that The End Is Near), you don't have to stop polluting, you just have to pay others to stop polluting. That's how Gore justifies his huge un-green mansion and Learjetting lifestyle--he buys carbon "offsets". How fortunate for Big Al that he coincidentally owns stock in a carbon offset firm.
--Al, why are you in the spotlight today? You should be with your son, Al Gore the Third, who was arrested a couple of days ago for driving 100mph with various drugs in his possession...again. Never mind, Al. If you were to go to your son, it wouldn't be to lovingly admonish him to change his ways. It would be to give him a high-five because he was busted while driving a gas/electric hybrid!