It's So Obvious, Only A Mensa Couldn't Get It

My Miniature Pinscher just produced another litter.
(I had been praying for seven pups, but when two were born, I was contented. Ninety minutes later, two more popped out, and then more, until there were seven!
They'll be old enough to sell just before Christmas. Cha-ching!)
As I watch the tiny creatures squirm, sleep, and nurse, I ponder the origin of species. How could sexual reproduction have evolved as an accident of time and chance? Have you evolutionists ever wondered about the first microorganism to develop a male "member"? Why did it appear? Was the first "he" fortunate enough to find that the first "she" happened to evolve at the same time, in the same place? Who taught them how to "do it"? How did they get the desire? Who gave him the potency to pass on life to another generation?
When the soft black morsels emerged from my female Min-Pin, what kept her from eating them? (What kept the first carnivores from eating their young?) What compels her to tirelessly clean, guard, and feed them for six exhausting weeks?
What about the many examples of symbiosis in nature? For example, as the shark opens its mouth and says "ahhhh", tiny fish swim amongst the huge teeth and remove decay-causing matter. Who taught the shark not to eat its dentist?
What about flight? How did wings evolve? When they magically appeared, who taught the ancient bird how to fly?

Most of my readers are politically conservative. Those of us on the Right often advise our liberal counterparts to deeply, logically consider the long-term future effects of their theories. For example, once you make it OK to kill one weaker part of society--unborn children--there is no reason not to kill the incapacitated, the mentally retarded, those with terminal diseases, and so on. One thing leads to another. I would ask my right-wing brethren who embrace evolution to deeply, logically consider the supposed long-term past of your scientific theories--how one thing allegedly led to another.